Thursday, June 20, 2013

The Angry POF guy's original profile

I stumbled upon my original Angry POF profile the other day. This is the profile that inspired this blog and got a lot more attention than my real-life profile.

The story behind it is quite simple-- I am just an average guy with decent writing skills who wasn't finding much success on POF. One day I simply became agitated and wrote this fake profile. This fake profile received more positive responses than my real profile. I don't know why, I was intentionally trying to be a jerk. But whatever.

Amazingly it was up a full year before POF deleted it. I suppose someone FINALLY was offended by the profile. (By the way, you can right-click the pics to see them in full size so you can read it).


Friday, June 14, 2013

Headlines!

Jay Leno is retiring next year (or maybe is being forced out), so soon there will be no more Headlines. It is sad.

But reading some of the headlines from POF can be hilarious. Lets be honest, it is hard to come up with a catchy headline. Some try to be funny, some sad, some that make you wonder why this person even tried. Am I angry? Yes. Mean? I try not to be. But sometimes someone just rubs me the wrong way.

So lets look at a few actual headlines, as I give my personal opinion on them:

"Did you read the profile before you messaged me?" -- No, I looked at yer' bewbeez. It was hard not to when the Headline was next to a blonde woman with a gratuitous cleavage shot. Which brings me to a valid complaint. Why do women make those pictures of their butts poking out of that facepic angle from above (the one that slightly chubby women use to minimize the double chin effect while emphasizing the cleavage; yes you know what I mean).

like this...

Men are visual, and these women know it, yet get offended when guys respond.

"Read profile or dont contact me" -- Aw shoot, too late. I don't take orders very well, my bad :)

"I'm kind of a big deal...People know me" -- Well I don't. The person who wrote this was going by the name of a certain cute female Batman Villain. Now, I have no problems with cosplayers, and a maid outfit on a woman is a regular fantasy of mine, but the Headline screams Alpha Female. I prefer a bit of humility, personally, because this headline screams high maintenance.

"I'm not a "BAD B ***" I'm a GOOD Woman" -- I am afraid to open this one. This headline warns me the profile will likely start with the infamous all-caps emasculating rants about how terrible all men are.

"I thought this was a seafood site/ Glub Glub/ Gone fishing/Dipping my toe in..." -- There are so many fish-puns in the headlines section that I have developed a seafood allergy reaction just be reading all of them. I wonder if guys use puns like Master Baitor...

"I`M SEXY AND I KNOW IT/ There's Something About a Truck/See you, space cowboy, etc." -- Using song titles or references as Headlines is as lame as an overplayed song. When I see this I think of more fitting songs like "Beat It." I'm willing to bet in Seattle, there are hundreds of "Sleepless in Seattle" references.

"haha im back :)" -- Thanks for the warning. I've been back three times now.

"where the real men at.........not on this site" -- I could say the same about the women.

"NOT LOOKING TO HOOK UP!!/ really..dont message me for sex..smh  "-- Then why are you here? Complaining about it in your headline won't help. Most guys use the gallery format anyways.

"Can't get no betta than me..." -- Sounds silly coming from a middle aged white woman. This is passable only if you are 18 and listen to Flo 'Rida (still the dumbest rap artist name evah'). I don't know exactly what age this type of talk sounds stupid coming from an adult, but I would suggest at 36, that's too old!

word.

"Tired of the bs" -- You and me both, Sister.