Saturday, September 21, 2013

Like extracting teeth...

Just when I thought of promoting this blog, life happened. I had a huge project come up, and I met
someone. That latter part means I haven't needed to waste my time strutting like a peacock on POF. Instead, I donned a chicken hat for Oktoberfest.

The thought of even returning to POF is like extracting teeth. And yet, how many of us not only return to POF but feel the need to proclaim that fact as if it is some kind of mark of infamy. Has the US Government started handing out medals of honor for our failures on an online dating site? They must be, or people wouldn't brag about it so much. yeah, I've done three tours of duty at POF, been shot in the heart and was a POW (of love) for X years before escaping.

It should be a prerequisite for those returning to POF to explain exactly how they ended up on POF, especially if they found love and then lost it. At least going to POF would be more entertaining. I really have no POF stories of note-- I quit out of annoyance. Thrice. (Who says thrice anymore? Me. That's who.)

So I could share a random dating disaster story for shits and giggles.

Like this gal, only way bigger.
I like my gals thick, what can I say?
I once dated a "Gothic Chick" when I was in my 20s. She was younger than me, which is a rare thing for me, as I am a certified Cougar Hunter (tm). It was fairly intense. She even had me wear her spiked collar, which led to many offers of Kibbles and Bits from my co-workers. At any rate, we dated a couple of months and on my birthday, we went to a rock concert. She was always hanging around this girl she claimed was her cousin. So back to this rock concert-- as I'm making out with my girlfriend, her cousin gives me the Evil Eye. I asked my girlfriend what's up with her cousin, and her reply was the cousin just wanted me.

Well, after we broke up, I ran into a friend of the Gothic Chick. As you may have suspected, this cousin was not her cousin. The day I dumped Gothic Chick, she informed me she was bisexual and had a girlfriend. Well, her friend informed me this "cousin" was actually Gothic Chick's girlfriend! And to think I bought the cousin's concert ticket as well.

To think, I was the only one out of the loop here. I honestly didn't know. I was pissed at the time but now I think it's fucking hilarious. No, I wasn't offered a Three-Way (and not the Skyline Chili kind), but if she offered I would have said HELL NO! I'd prefer the Skyline Chili 3-way because it is tasty. I never liked this "cousin." But I digress.

Does a bad date beat no date at all? I guess at the time we all think so. Maybe that's why we keep going back to POF. For some of us, what other alternative do we have?

I do have some POF dating disasters, though they don't beat the Goth Gal story. Maybe I'll share them on a bad day.