Hey ladies, POF is NOT Meet-a-millionaire.com

I have ranted on this subject before but nothing makes a man feel more inadequate than being judged by the size of the bulge in your pants. But no, I'm not referring to dick sizes; I'm referring to your wallet size.

POF profiles have many euphemisms for money-- "stable," "secure," or the always condescending, "you must have your own house, car, and J-O-B." Oh and by J-O-B they don't mean meat flipper at Mickey D's, they want the CEO of Goldman-Sachs.

You want to know my least favorite college course? Economics. The Wall Street Journal cures my insomnia. The stock market is duller than the World Cup (and now that Team USA blew a game to that country known for waffles and chocolate, we can stop pretending to give a flying fuck about the World Cup. Our MVP of the same was the goalie because he had to block more volleys than the Patriot missiles of Desert Storm. But I digress).

Like many Americans, I'm struggling to make ends meet. I'm not a CEO; I've stated my occupation on this blog on an occasion or two, but it isn't enough to waste on the stock market, a 401k, or the like. But I don't believe that I'm in the minority in regards to being underemployed. How many people have a career? Well, the answer isn't that easy. You see, the "official" unemployment rate, currently about 7% or so on average, is pretty much a lowball figure. This rate is called the "Headline unemployment rate," which means the number of working age adults who are looking for work. It does not count underemployed or those who quit looking for work because there aren't very many jobs.

At any rate, how many Americans are employed full time? Well, according to Gallup, that company known for doing polls, the rate of full-time employed members of American society (what they call the "payroll-to-population ratio") is 44.7%. The number of people both willing and able to work is about 63% of the adult working age population. Gallup uses a different metric to track unemployment, using the numbered of actual unemployed plus the number of underemployed people as well as people in part-time jobs looking for full-time employment. That number is about 17%.

If you care, read this article: http://wallstcheatsheet.com/stocks/how-many-americans-actually-have-full-time-work.html/?a=viewall

What all this really means is many of us don't have full-time employment. Some of us are underemployed or even unemployed and looking for work. Some of us work but because we work a "tipped" job or are disabled, we are paid less than the federal minimum wage. Some of us are on disability. Going by the numbers, barely 9 of every 20 people you meet are chronically employed.

And yet, you still see the buzzwords from women online. And they wonder why they're still single? Like I said before, ladies, if money is such a big deal to you, go out and get your own damned J-O-B and buy your own damned stuff. Chronically under- or unemployed is the norm. If you want a millionaire, then you are at the wrong site.

Groundhog Day

Does anyone remember the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day? It was a great movie. If you haven't seen it, then the plot is simple-- a man wakes up every day to the exact same day over and over again until he does everything right and he finally escapes the time loop.

I discovered POF back in 2010, so I have been going to that site off and one for an entire Presidential term. I have been coming to this blog to post random rants about POF for about a year now to blow off steam at my online frustrations. Like many of you, I start a new profile, keep it up a while, leave in frustration, and return after a few weeks or months and try again. I see mostly the same faces when I return. Every day, we sift through the same pretentious profiles full of "sweet" and "lovable" women who want men who are "secure" (READ: Rich), "generous" (READ: Who will support them financially) and someone not looking for a one night stand (of course, they hope to never have to put out at all, unless you have a lot of money, and even then, it is just enough to get you hooked, then they stop once they get a wedding ring).

Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result each time. I must be a fucking idiot. Y'all must be, too.

Yes, I went back to POF about a month ago and got rejected like the Miami Heat did in this year's NBA Finals (so much for those 7 rings, LeBron). What do I see? The same tired fucking people.

Profile #1 reads she is "New to Miami" (Not Miami FloriDUH, I mean that other Miami. In Ohio. Yes, there is a Miami in Ohio.) She is cute, although she looks like Snooki from Jersey Shore. I'm sure she's an OK gal in real life. But her profile is just the same as I saw it TWO years ago! How long is one "new" to anywhere?

Profile #2's tag line is "Amuse me." I honestly think this is what most women are there for. They want us to play the "jester" role. I spoke with this gal before and, without getting into too many details, she was in a bad relationship so she was just there to disappoint potential suitors. Well, after leaving POF for half a year and returning, she's still there, so apparently she has gotten addicted to disappointing men.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

I see I am not the only one frustrated with POF. Check out these other articles I found:

http://www.thedatinggurus.com/review-of-plentyoffish-com-dating-service/

http://skyespitfire.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/the-truth-about-plenty-of-fish/

How many women on POF have these tendencies?

Elliot Rodger's Manifesto and prostitition

"Humanity… All of my suffering on this world has been at the hands of humanity, particularly women.
It has made me realize just how brutal and twisted humanity is as a species. All I ever wanted was to fit
in and live a happy life amongst humanity, but I was cast out and rejected, forced to endure an existence
of loneliness and insignificance, all because the females of the human species were incapable of seeing
the value in me." -- Elliot Rodger

I almost have to wonder if that guy who went crazy after being rejected so much and went on a killing spree ever tried POF. If you care to read his 100+ plus page manifesto, you can read it here:

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/05/25/us/shooting-document.html

We should be thankful so few of us feel rejection is painful enough to take up arms and hurt others. Rejection hurts. Who HASN'T felt the pain of rejection at some point in our lives? (If you haven't, you're either dead, psychopathic, or both). I have felt it too. However, I just come to my blog and piss and moan, then I go back to the real world and go on with my life. Hell, I don't even bother coming here until I experience a POF disaster.

So today, I reactivated my account and in like 5 minutes, I had a bite. I wrote a cute, funny profile. She sent a message about being "intrigued" but I had no pic. So I sent one. And she blocked me. Reeeeee-JECTED! either I take shitty selfies or I guess she didn't find me all that. No matter, she was 100 miles away. (I see POF still hasn't fixed the site to note that "local" does not mean every metropolitan area in 3 states, but I digress.)

So what did I do? I came here. This manifesto is sad, really. We put so much emphasis on the need to be in a relationship, or, more specifically, to be sexual. It is fine for you ladies to be virgins, but men are pressured to be sexual. Still, there are many things you can do besides shoot people just because some woman won't fuck you.

There's always USA Sex Guide. You can find lots of lonely single ladies and for only $50-$300 per hour, you can go on a date you know will end in sex. Think about it. ALL dating is prostitution. You pay for dinner and a movie, maybe flowers and jewelry and gas and trips and food and cards and other stupid trinkets, and then she leads you on and on and on. Damn, if all you want is sex, why pay for the wine-and-dine when you can dine at the Y? And best of all, no rejection? These chicks bang ugly old dudes who need to OD on Viagra to get it on, so they'll fuck you too.
If only Elliot had bought a "working woman" instead of a gun, we'd have a few less senseless killings. I say legalize prostitution!

Later, y'all.

So who is to blame for all these bitchy, selfish, gold-digging princesses on POF? The answer may surprise you

Today's rant isn't about anyone specifically, or even just about POF, although this behavior is common. I just want to get something off my chest.

 

Lets face it, no matter what men do on any site-- POF, Meetme, any other dating site or just any social networking site, the expectation is that we are dashing princes with six-pack abs and a matching six figure income. The man is a rich, handsome, and selfless prince who sacrifices all to give the princess a "Happily Ever After" lifestyle.

 

I'm not being facetious. In fact, I am using this analogy intentionally. I believe that this princess mentality goes back to childhood. I know, how Freudian. Well, pull up your couch, because we are (briefly) exploring how our childhood has fostered this princess mentality.

 

It should be no surprise that there is something called the "[Disney] Princess Effect." (Some sources say "Disney Princess Effect and some sources don't add the word Disney.) Obviously, it is easy to invoke the penultimate rags-to-riches princess story, Cinderella. Who isn't familiar with the plot? Poor Cinderella and her "wicked stepsisters and stepmother" who work her to death; denied a chance to go to the ball to meet handsome prince by said wicked stepfamily (note no father or even an elaboration where the father is, at least in the Disney version); altruistic fairy Godmother provides Cinderella the means to go to the Ball (lets face it, good looks isn't enough, you have to pick the right outfit too, ladies. Those glass slippers and magical costume really stands out, you know); Cinderella wows the Prince, and the Prince ultimately saves Cinderella from her life of drudgery and they live happily ever after in the Prince's castle.

 

Princes Charles: In the Disney world, he'd be a better Dumbo than Prince

Lets face reality here-- there are not that many Princes in the world, and not all are dashing (Prince Charles, anyone?). Kate Middleton was no commoner (her parents run a successful mail-order business worth millions), nor was Princess Diana. Cinderella appeals to Americans in particular because of the "rags-to-riches" story that embodies another silly myth of our culture, "The American Dream." Not the wrestler, the myth that by simply working hard, you too can become your own rich Prince (forgetting the fact that the post-WW2 "Baby Boom" was the result of a global economic anomaly in which the US was the only country for a time who could supply the world's resources. It is easy to be #1 when the rest of the world was busy rebuilding from the war).  

 

Well, Dusty Rhodes is SHAPED like many Americans :)

But I digress. There are a number of people who cite this Disney Princess Effect as having a number of lasting and lifelong effects on girls.

 

Peggy Orenstein wrote a book titled "Cinderella Ate My Daughter" in 2011. It warns that "premature sexualization to the risk of depression to rising rates of narcissism, the potential negative impact of this new girlie-girl culture is undeniable." I think she focused a lot on the overt sexualization aspects (we see how many of the women who proclaim "Don't message me for sex" on POF love to pose in sexually suggestive ways), but I am more concerned with other psychological effects, such as the narcissism. The Internet does foster a lot of narcissism-- think selfies and Facebook profiles/ statuses "I just pooped today" or maybe a selfie while on the throne for dramatic effect. And it certainly shows in many POF profiles. I've certainly complained a lot about the demanding profiles on here already, so feel free to refer to earlier posts.

 

Combine all that with the these questions from another article on this effect --  But do any of these princess upgrades matter when the stories’ all-is-resolved “happily ever after” always includes marriage? In the more recent movies, Disney Princesses are more "empowered" than ones in the past (Rapunzel and Tiara), but Happily-ever-after still includes the "handsome rich Prince." It poses a good question relevant to online dating. Our current generation are more "empowered" than in times past. More women work and manage the household than in times past. And yet, there is still this obvious expectation that men will be rich, handsome, and generous.

 

Another observation from the CSMonitor:

 

"Mary Finucane started noticing changes in the way her 3-year-old daughter played. The toddler had stopped running and jumping, and insisted on wearing only dresses. She sat on the front step quietly – waiting, she said, for her prince. She seemed less imaginative, less spunky, less interested in the world.... She decided to research the princess phenomenon, and what she found worried her. She came to believe that the $4 billion Disney Princess empire was the first step down a path to scarier challenges, from self-objectification to cyberbullying to unhealthy body images. Finucane, who has a background in play therapy, started a blog – "Disney Princess Recovery: Bringing Sexy Back for a Full Refund" – to chronicle her efforts to break the grip of Cinderella, Belle, Ariel, et al. on her household."

 

So there is a fair amount of discussion on this topic. However, the focus is on body image more than other psychological issues, such as being an online dating disaster. Why the big focus on body image? All a woman has to do is show a little skin and no matter what she looks like a fair amount of men will say that is hot and they want her. Even the Disney Princesses glam up with dresses, sashes, and makeup, even if the birds and forest creatures don't sing jaunty tunes for you while doing it. So what's the problem?

 

Of course, Disney merely provides a means of entertainment. Hell, they didn't even create Cinderella; Cinderella has been a fairy tale since at least the 1600s, if not sooner. The REAL problem is.... US! Regular, average people. Well, those of us who are parents, that is. You see, most of us raise our little girls TO BE princesses. Ironically, men are even worse about it. Daddy's little princess.

 

Think about that for a moment. Who is the most influential person in a child's life, and who sets up the stage for a person's entire life? Who is the person that decides fist and foremost what a child can or can't have? A Parent, that's who. And when a parent teaches a girl that she is a Princess, well, Disney can illustrate princess behavior to a point. The stereotype of the overprotective father isn't far from reality (The recent story of the Texas man shooting her teen daughter's boyfriend in her bed is a recent extreme example of this protective nature). How many of us are teaching our daughters not to "settle," and what do we teach when we say that? What is "settling," for that matter?

 

Lets face one more reality here. If you live in a rural community, you married young, maybe even before you went off to college. Many more of us marry during those early college years or right after college. This weeds out many would be suitors. So by the time you are pushing the big 3-0, you are starting to weed through the rest as a granny might sift through the Manager's Specials basket at a grocery store, trying to find something among the slightly dinged cans of soup and the slightly torn boxes of spaghetti and the stuff that expires in a day or two. And yet, here you are looking for the perfect deal out of what is left, demanding perfection while sifting and sifting. Then, the women lament they can't find a "good man."

 

There are plenty of "good men," ladies, but we aren't all "Princes." We're not all rich and handsome (I assure you, rich, handsome people don't use POF to get laid). We are "average Joes." Some work hard but make diddly-squat after taxes. Some of us are a little chunky (after all, "healthy" food isn't cheap. The economy sucks ass. Cars are expensive and, if you live in an urban area, unnecessary to get around. This is 2014, not the 1300s. Go out and get a J-O-B and get your own place and car if that's what you want. After all, wasn't that what the latest Disney Princess did?

 

And guys, if you have little girls, don't raise them to be selfish, spoiled princesses. You are part of the problem. So, be part of the solution. Be a man and fix this problem. Stop being a passive-aggressive dick to the next generation.

 

 

If any POF guys out there have a castration fetish, have I got the woman for you!

Hey guys, who among you would date a woman with a headline that sounds like it was written by Lorena Bobbitt? I think it is ironic, given her religion is "Baptist" and her profession is "caregiver." I know the Bible speaks of Eunuchs and it is better to cut off a hand than to sin and all, but I think I will pass on this one. I prefer to keep my penis attached to my body.

This is a good time to bring back a blast from the past...

POF's new "Ambition" category and the Psychopath

I haven't been on POF in a couple of months, because like most superheroes, I have a fucking day job. And this is my busy time of the year. You want to know what I do? I deal with psychopaths. Not, not murderers, rapists, and assorted career criminals, but the real scourge of society, politicians. This time of the year when legislatures around the country get together to find new ways to legally sodomize those of us stupid enough to elect them into office.

But thankfully I have a break from the monotony of drudging through mountains of legal jargon so I thought I would rail on my other favorite group of psychopaths, the POF daters. So now, POF has added yet another tidbit of info to our already self-flagellating profiles, the "Ambition" category.

As if there wasn't enough for us to feel miserable about, especially those of us judged for not having six-pack abs and six figure incomes. Now you have to tell the world you are either a lazy, slothful bastard or a backstabbing, step-on-toes, conniving psychopath. This is even more damning than trying to find that balance between "I just want a fuck buddy" and "our second date is a wedding chapel in Gatlinburg." Fuck.

So pick your poison. All sound shitty to me.

NOT AMBITIOUS: You live in your mom's house playing World of Warcraft or jerk off to various fetish "pr0n" (anyone still use 2000 era internet slang?). You probably weigh as much as the house you live in.

SOMEWHAT AMBITIOUS: You probably still live with your mom but you have a dead end job and maybe have a paid subscription to a couple of pr0n sites. But at least you may meet the base minimum requirements of having a "house, car and J-O-B" if you are smart enough to explain it properly.

AMBITIOUS: You are a self-serving prick who treats people like chattel and you don't mind stabbing people in the back to selling off your child to get what you really want in life.

VERY AMBITIOUS: The ultimate prick. Unlike the regular ambitious person, you have likely backstabbed someone with an actual knife. You probably mutilated defenseless animals and set fires at some point in your life, but decided your sadism is a better match for the sycophants of Corporate America, who take your abuse and come back for more, and that psychological torture is far more satisfying than flat out killing people.

If you think I'm full of shit, consider the fact that psychopaths thrive in Corporate America. Bad bosses are likely to be psychopaths. This, of course, extends to the dating scene. The thing that really annoys me is how many "ambitious" women still demand a man be willing to take care of them financially instead of making their own money (or, to use the basic term, a "gold digger"). How about this, ladies. YOU go get a house, a car, and a J-O-B.

The good news is now, I can pick women with little to no ambition, so I can avoid the psychopaths out there. But then again, psychopaths and clever and manipulative. Well fuck.

Translation, please!

I need a favor. Does anyone have a ghetto-to-English translator? If so, please decipher this shite. This is the epitome of bad grammar and spelling. This is the Alabama Crimson Tide dynasty of bad English.

This brings up an important question. At what age should be people quit talking like this?

Miss High Maintenance

If there is one kind of profile I cannot stand, it is the "princess" types. Demands to be spoiled, high maintenance, that sort of thing. I think the more appropriate would be "gold digger," since high maintenance and spoiled usually means "buy me stuff."

Okay, lets be honest, if you are on POF it is generally because you don't have a lot of money, and POF is free for the most part. So why are so many WOMEN expecting a man with "their shit together" in such a bad economy? If you're looking for a "one percenter," you're on the wrong website.

Here is a prime example, from a profile in my local area:

First off, the reason so many people in their 30s are "broke, no job, no car" is because we have a crappy economy. Lady, you live in a metropolitan area consistently ranked as one of the 10 poorest cities in America.

Second-- FOUR kids? Not just kids at that, "bratty ass kids!" That world doesn't have room for a man. Who wants a ready-made family? Not me.

Third, high-maintenance and want to be treated like a princess." As I already stated, it screams "gold digger."

On the up side, she's "independent." She doesn't really NEED a man. That's a relief.

I beg to differ on her opinion of herself as an "amazing" girl. But see, you women think you can write this shit, sound like a total bitch, and guys are going to eat it up because you're a thin blonde bimbo. But she got knocked up four times so apparently men find her hot enough, I guess. She's definitely not for me.

Here is the thing. Many men won't date women with kids. I don't blame them. America is a liability minded culture, and kids are a liability. To use the cliché, kids bring lots of "drama." Babby daddy drama, junior gets sick at school, and kids get attached to people way too quickly, so if you're not trying hard to be a heartless bastard, you grow an attachment to them as well. Of course, in the back of everyone's mind is the false allegation thing, and no one wants that kind of drama. Kid free is the way to be. It sounds mean but it is true.

Good lucking finding a rich man, princess. Your handsome prince isn't on POF.

My new and improved "official" POF profile

My new official Angry POF Guy profile. Not as detailed as the last, but maybe this one won't be eliminated by the POF profile Nazis.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=32130360

"I am a baggage toting drama king who is only going to date you to get back at the ex. Therefore you must be hotter than hell, or at least hotter than my ex. Being thin, blonde, and bouncy gets top billing.

If you want to get into my pants, you must have your own place-- not living in your momma's basement. You must have a car, and the nicer the better, so no Mickey D's wrappers and baby goo on the floor and seats. And it is imperative you have a J-O-B (Don't you love it when I am so condescending I feel the need to spell it letter by letter?); and not just a job, but a "career." if you want "bling," work for it, and if you think that sex is a fair trade for financial secutiry, you want the escort site, not POF.

I don't have a car so the burden falls upon you to drive me around. See my requirements above. I guess since I don't have a car this means I'm a fat lazy slob as opposed to being down on my luck because some beeyotch took me for a ride and cleaned out my account or my company downsized, which brings me to point number two, I don't have a job either. I don't need one because I think I look hot and if i show a little cleavage and flash a winning smile, I don't need to have either while expecting a member of the opposite sex to have one of their own.

Ladies, for the love of God, please stop messaging me for sex. I prefer the frigid and callous women who won't put out and love to play silly head games at POF. That's my kind of woman. Ooh, and it turns me on even more when you ladies lie about what you want. And I am more turned on when you take selfies of your bosoms and legs while demanding I don't drool like Homer Simpson staring at a stake.

Know what else I love? Women that refer to their pets as "fur babies" and pamper them like children. If you talk about your pets as if you gave birth to them, I can't help but to question your sexuality. You do realize bestiality is still a crime in most states, except maybe Kentucky.

Even more so, I love those of you who are so unimaginative you feel the need to use tired clichéd movie and song titled. I love sifting through the hundreds of "Must Love Dogs," "There's something 'bout a truck," and "Sleepless in _____" headlines, they are just so catchy and stand out among the thousands of other unimaginative women who do this who also select "hopeless romantic" as their personality. Hopeless? Try helpless.

So if you are as fake and as demanding as I am, HMU. If you don't know what that means, then introduc yourself to a search engine. God helps those who helps themselves."

Gripe for the day: Whoever works on the POF website needs a geography lesson

I decided to check my profile for the first time in weeks, and I have a minor complain (I know, stop the presses, right)?

Here's the deal-- if you don't use the "search" function to narrow your search, and pick one of those six random women at the top of every profile page, or that "online' function, you can get someone in a metropolitan are 100+ miles away.

I live in Cincinnati, Ohio (Chilitown USA, BTW), and I don't consider Columbus OH, Dayton OH, Louisville KY, Lexington KY, or Indianapolis IN "local." Let me put it to you this way-- if you don't even have a Skyline Chili or Gold Star Chili restaurant in your neighborhood, you are not "local" to me.

As you can imagine, I have had my moments where I finally see an intriguing profile, and I want to send a message. But wait! I need to pull out the Atlas (they still make those things) and find some town called "Xenia, Ohio." Or "Pikeville, Kentucky." Personally, I'd like to date someone from Intercourse, Pennsylvania, but instead I dated the woman from Hell, Michigan (well, if you're gonna get hitched you may as well go to Hell while you're at it).

Aside from getting a regional geography lesson, there is another small issue-- the fact we haven't had reasonable gas prices since the Clinton administration. Unless you can afford a hybrid, those gas prices become a factor in decision making. Forget love conquering all, Big Oil conquers love.

Maybe instead of "looking for sparks," you should be looking for someone combustible instead.

Bottom Line:

POF, fire your web designer.