Now that I am finished ranting about the basics of the POF website, the real fun of reading random profiles begins. It is very hard to believe the things people actually put on their dating profiles. This begs the question – if a picture is worth 1000 words, then what is a screenshot of words worth? In this case, probably a few good laughs. Let us begin. ( The following screenshots are of actual POF profiles. I most cases, they are unaltered except to remove any identifying information.)
COMMENT: I can only imagine how low your self-esteem must be to even bother messaging a woman who write such a comment at the beginning of her profile. Not only does this woman qualify for a lifetime supply of lithium, chances are any man unfortunate to be with her will eventually need some form of mind altering substance to maintain a stable relationship with this individual. Remember that in many ways, online dating is like a job interview. Imagine going to a job interview and cussing out your potential employer the moment you step into his office. How many people have gotten a job by screaming at the interviewer? This is the POF, not the WWE.
COMMENT: What kind of fruit bat requests a background check on the first date? In my previous post, I discussed how some POF profiles resembled government security clearance checks, then I find this on an actual profile , and it blew my mind! I am simply amazed she did not add a polygraph and a penile plethysmograph to her list of demands. (I hope she is not reading this, I do not want to give her any more ideas.) It is worth noting that before Ted Bundy was arrested for his murder spree, he had no prior record. That is how he went undetected all these years. A serial killer, once caught, never leaves prison, so a background check is not going to catch one.
My Comment:
Sorry, couldn't resist =p. Seems okaly but let's be honest, I am not sure you could find someone with all those qualifications on POF. Moving on...
COMMENT: She may not take drugs, but she may want to consider taking something prescribed by a psychiatrist. This lady is a real Jekyll and Hyde. "I don't like Public Displays of Affection maybe if its with the right person!" Which is it? Do you like kissing in public or not? "Don't expect me to hold your hand and kiss you if I just meet you 10 min ago!?!" When you place a question mark between two exclamation points, is Internet lingo for you are asking a question hysterically.
While we are on the subject of being picky, I am quite picky about grammar. To say you discriminate against people with "bad BREATHE" implies you have a problem with people born with asthma. Breath= exhale, breathe=inhale+exhale. That e makes a difference.
How does one loose 40 pounds? Is it loosed TD Jakes style?
Right now, there is a gray-eyed, asthmatic, bearded cat lover spared the joys of meeting this crazy woman online. Y
COMMENT:
No, you won't. You are just a one-time shopper.
No, you won't. You are just a one-time shopper.
No, you won't. You are just a one-time shopper.
No, you won't. You are just a one-time shopper.
COMMENT:
Nothing brings two people closer together than the mutual mutilation of a human body. Speaking of mutilation, Notre Dame was mutilated in the national championship game by the Crimson Tide 42-14. So to date this woman, you must truly be sadistic for wanting to torture others, and masochistic for cheering for football teams that suck major ass.
COMMENT:
There is nothing quite like good old-fashioned online drama! I would like to note that despite supposedly being on POF to try to catch her cheating significant other, she spent an awful lot of time filling out her personality profile and posting pictures of herself, so apparently the shark is on the hunt for some other kind of prey.
COMMENT: No, This is not the same person as the background check lady, but she may as well be. I have to admit I am a bit confused; I think I made that proverbial wrong turn at Albuquerque and have transcended the fine line between POF and career builder.com. Lady, you don't want POF, you want millionaires.com.
Last but not least: Frodo! DO NOT DATE THIS WOMAN! Do hobbits taste like chicken?
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