The Stanford Dating Experiment: Douchebags versus Nice Guys-- Do nice guys really finish last?

I won't pick on anyone today, for the moment, so I will do my impersonation of the usual generic catch-all POF profile.

GENERIC SINGLE GIRL ABOUT ME: I am looking for an honest, dependable, funny man who has his life together and knows what he wants in life. The ideal man should be romantic, a good listener, and attentive to me needs.

Most female profiles read like this in so many words. After spending years on POF, I have seen plenty of catch phrases. A women wants a man who is DEPENDABLE (has a j-o-b, ambitious, driven), wants a RELATIONSHIP (wants more than just sex, not here to play games), is THOUGHTFUL (romantic, good listener, attentive, and that can include intimacy details like cuddling or selflessness in bed).

Hey I can't cap on that! No problems here. What I CAN cap on is the fact that what women SAY and what they WANT are two different things. But we can't really fault women, well not entirely. Many women were raised on fairy tales, so they grew up with this notion they'd meet some dashing, stud-muffin-ly (and rich as fuck) Prince Charming who will rescue them from dragons and they will in love and live Happily Ever After.

Fucking Disney.

Or for the more grown up, non-cartoony crowd, there's the "wealthy millionaire saves pretty harlot from whoredom and lives happily ever after."

Fucking Julia Roberts.

So from early in our lives, that bar of expectation is ridiculously high. But at some point, reality sets in. Princes aren't always so handsome....

And the richest man in the world is older than Methuselah:

I was just thinking, it must really piss off immigrant-haters to know the richest man
in the world lives there. Carlos Slim. Even richer than Bill Gates.

But when you have $73 BILLION, that doesn't matter. So at some point, those spoon fed this Happily Ever After (tm) bullshit, after their world collapses, seek a cheap substitute. And there is no cheaper substitute than POF (seeing as how it is free and all).

If you are Average Joe, you are already at a real disadvantage. The irony is the "nice guy" is the PERSONALITY profile of the fairy tale prince. The handsome prince is the type that will lay down his life for his love and go out of his way to prove his love, sacrificing himself for her, turning his life around if he's the bad boy type. That's the worst one of all. The handsome bad boy reformed by the love of a woman. But the human being obtains most information about the world through the eyes. So my hypothesis is women equate the more physically appealing men with what they are looking for in a man. Unfortunately, our society has an interesting take on what is attractive. Since mass media is our biggest influence, a large portion of our society thinks this is hot:

What does this tell you? Love isn't blind but could use some thicker glasses. Again, our pop culture has further skewed the concepts of beauty and desirability. Nasty orange skin, shark fin haircuts, silly facial expressions, all of which are the hallmarks of current douhebaggery. Women claim they don't like these arrogant punks but they always seem to get the girl, while Mister Nice Guy just gets the cold shoulder.

So is it really true nice guys finish last? First, lets look at some boring-ass-statistics that are probably full of shit. The site Statistics Brain has a page on Online dating statistics. This site claims ONLY 49% of people claim looks are the primary factor in choosing a prospective date. Well, just because I'm a lazy bastard, I will just post a few more interesting stats:

The numbers seem encouraging enough. So 38% of women claim they like "nice guys" and only 15% like "bad boys." Yet, we see the douchebag Alpha-Males get the girl so much in the media. So what gives? Is there any truth to it, or is it just another media lie? And honestly, are those answering the questions, the same online daters who openly lie on their own fucking profiles, answering THESE questions honestly in the first place?

Well, there was research that suggests the myth has some merit. A 2012 study from the University of Texas-San Antonio (UTSA) suggests when women ovulate, they are more likely to choose the rebellious bad-boy type, deluding themselves into believing this asshole will be a great provider and devoted partners. So you know how women love to throw up in the faces of men how we love to think with our "little heads"? Well, now you know the women are not that much different when it comes to the physical body, they are fundamentally not much different than men. So is it fair to say many women think with their vaginas?

There is some evidence to suggest nice guys get overlooked, at least in the business world. One study measured human behavior in a business setting. The definition of a nice guy in this study is very specific, namely agreeability and the penchant for avoiding conflict/ confrontation. Those who were agreeable were paid less on average. Those who were "assertive" or "aggressively advocating their position during conflicts" earned more money. Not necessarily being a jerk, but being able to assert yourself was a factor in getting what you want.

But, if you really want to dig deep, read the study "Physical Attractiveness and the Nice Guy Paradox: Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?" This study concludes that while BOTH physical attraction and niceness ranked high with women, the #1 factor depends on motivation. If a gal wants a relationship, niceness becomes #1. If a gal wants a piece of ass, then good looks become #1.

Of course, all this research could be a heaping, steaming pile of bullshit.

So I decided to play a little game. In the spirit of the famous Stanford Prison Experiment, let us call my little experiment the "Stanford Dating Experiment." I created two profiles-- one regular guy profile, and one douchebag profile. Mr. Nice Guy was played by me, of course. The "real me," my real face, personality, interests (no way in hell I'm sharing it with you for anonymity reasons. Nice try, though). My alternate profile is my "douchebag" profile. Now I found a random pic of some young blonde punk wearing a t-shirt that reads, "Never trust anything which bleeds for five days and never dies," and I wrote a comments that made it obvious the profile was as fake as a three-dollar bill.

As an aside, some dumbass got arrested for trying to buy something with one of these.

By now you are probably tired from the intellectual overload so I'll give you the lowlights. No surprise, the douchebag profile received eight positive responses, IN JUST ONE DAY, plus I got a phone number and a date offer. Nice guy profile got five positive responses IN ONE YEAR.

If you read my previous article, the first dating review post from yesterday, I have to mention the one girl who told me that she was looking for a "FWB" responded to Douchebag but not to Nice Guy. Based upon my personal experience, I can conclude that online daters tend to prefer assholes.

The relative anonymity of the internet allows individuals to engage in unethical behavior. It even has a technical name -- The Online Disinhibition Effect (apparently they couldn't come up with a catchy acronym). For the non-technical, the Internet allows us to act like total assholes because even though we have given a lot of personal info to POF, we're still relatively anonymous. Unless you have the memory of a steel trap or took notes, then chances are you wouldn't recognize anyone here offline (and if you memorized these people and took notes, dude, you have issues).

Speaking of trolls, whatever you do, don't enter the POF forums. Many people have wandered into that terrible part of this virtual pond, where the virtual piranhas wait to tear you apart. Woe to those  who wade in its depths. You've been warned. So next on POF, lets go visit the forums.

Here fishy fishy. Welcome to the POF forums. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!