My new and improved "official" POF profile

My new official Angry POF Guy profile. Not as detailed as the last, but maybe this one won't be eliminated by the POF profile Nazis.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=32130360

"I am a baggage toting drama king who is only going to date you to get back at the ex. Therefore you must be hotter than hell, or at least hotter than my ex. Being thin, blonde, and bouncy gets top billing.

If you want to get into my pants, you must have your own place-- not living in your momma's basement. You must have a car, and the nicer the better, so no Mickey D's wrappers and baby goo on the floor and seats. And it is imperative you have a J-O-B (Don't you love it when I am so condescending I feel the need to spell it letter by letter?); and not just a job, but a "career." if you want "bling," work for it, and if you think that sex is a fair trade for financial secutiry, you want the escort site, not POF.

I don't have a car so the burden falls upon you to drive me around. See my requirements above. I guess since I don't have a car this means I'm a fat lazy slob as opposed to being down on my luck because some beeyotch took me for a ride and cleaned out my account or my company downsized, which brings me to point number two, I don't have a job either. I don't need one because I think I look hot and if i show a little cleavage and flash a winning smile, I don't need to have either while expecting a member of the opposite sex to have one of their own.

Ladies, for the love of God, please stop messaging me for sex. I prefer the frigid and callous women who won't put out and love to play silly head games at POF. That's my kind of woman. Ooh, and it turns me on even more when you ladies lie about what you want. And I am more turned on when you take selfies of your bosoms and legs while demanding I don't drool like Homer Simpson staring at a stake.

Know what else I love? Women that refer to their pets as "fur babies" and pamper them like children. If you talk about your pets as if you gave birth to them, I can't help but to question your sexuality. You do realize bestiality is still a crime in most states, except maybe Kentucky.

Even more so, I love those of you who are so unimaginative you feel the need to use tired clichéd movie and song titled. I love sifting through the hundreds of "Must Love Dogs," "There's something 'bout a truck," and "Sleepless in _____" headlines, they are just so catchy and stand out among the thousands of other unimaginative women who do this who also select "hopeless romantic" as their personality. Hopeless? Try helpless.

So if you are as fake and as demanding as I am, HMU. If you don't know what that means, then introduc yourself to a search engine. God helps those who helps themselves."